Getting enough vacation to sit on beach and do nothing
Is the two-week vacation rule in the US actually enough?
Imagine if this happens when you’re trying to get enough vacation time at a new job in the US.
Closing scene of “The Godfather” by Francis Ford Coppola
[Michael stayed in his office while Kay left to get him a drink. Rocco, Clemenza, and Neri came into Michael’s office. Kay looked back into the office. The men hugged and kissed Michael’s hand.
Clemenza: Don Corleone...
[The gesture was clear: Michael is now the boss. The “Don.” Rocco kissed Michael's hand. Neri shut the door to Kay.]
[The screen turned black]THE END
Trying to see beyond a closing door is like drowning with your mouth wide open.
The image of a door closing in front of us—is like a death sentence. Especially if your question is left unanswered. It means that we are purposefully excluded from an inside secret. It didn’t matter if we were originally part of that secret.
The physical barrier means something. So is the act of climbing up the stairs all the way up to the boss’ office. Or taking an elevator to a penthouse. I think this is why the skyscraper has long been assumed as a symbol of power. Height, or even a geographical slant, is a completed one-uppance.
Instinctively, we know that absence of restriction gives us satisfaction. It’s no wonder why skyscrapers and penthouses are the symbol of freedom. It stands for and serves as freedom from restriction.
This is why a closed door gives us that sense of claustrophobia. And the more doors closing on us, the more it’s necessary to get enough vacation time. Particularly in the US.
And yet …
Why do people not take enough vacation in the US even though they’ve built up enough vacation time?
I don’t know about you, but it isn’t as easy as it looks. Coming from a country that doesn’t have summer breaks, it first felt like two weeks is plenty. Until two things happened.
One is that we don’t always feel great about leaving teammates, coworkers, or even supervisors–for that length of time. The more we care about what we do, the more this hangs on us.
It’s like there’s guilt from knowing others are carrying your load for that length of time.
And the reality is that, after seven to ten days, things at work start to require our attention. And if we’re any good at the job, we’re likely one of the few people who can actually do the work—well. Worse, if someone takes over our responsibility, as thankful as we are, sometimes it is done incorrectly. In which case, it either completely unravels months of our own hard work, or we’ll have to redo it when we return.
So it’s like doing something twice—just to take enough vacation days.
The deeper reason behind this, though, particularly in the US, is that hard work is not just celebrated. It is a requirement. The US hustle culture is not just for an enterprising person. It’s in most workplaces regardless of the discipline. When we’re the “first one in and last one out,” people notice. People endorse and promote us. The invisible ladder of advancement, though never explicitly said, is always collectively understood.
If we compare this to other cultures throughout Europe, for instance, we start to see the difference.
I remember when I was traveling in Spain. I’ve always heard “siestas.” People take a couple of hours in the afternoon off from work. But it wasn’t until I walked around on a Monday afternoon at 2 PM—that I fully got it. Everything, and I mean everything, was closed. Shuttered. Bolted. Offline. Not even a coffee shop was open.
I felt like an apocalypse caught me barenaked in the shower.
I was unprepared.
In the US, even on Christmas and Thanksgiving, coffee shops are still open. Capitalism aside, hard work is simply seen as a badge of honor in the US. And research supports this.
Nearly half of the people surveyed simply worry they might fall behind. And still many others just feel badly about co-workers.
Progressive spirit is definitely what drives the American sense of self. But at the same time, it creates a sense that nothing is ever enough. To the point that taking a vacation leads to the perception and worry that we’re replaceable.
In reality, this fear also came from our realization that the places we work in has little to no loyalty to us.
No wonder we constantly feel the need to stand tall to succeed in the US.
It’s like we always have to prove something.
So then how do you …
Taking enough vacation time in the US: An unflinching determination against feeling guilty
The fact that a boss has to say that “my door is always open,” might actually mean the opposite.
Does anyone else feel:
Open-Door policy is a lazed oxymoron.
Sure, a door can open. But the reason it exists is so it can close. If it’s meant to be open at all times, then the door serves no purpose. And the architect will just design an archway. A permanent opening.
It’s just as paradoxical as …
Talker 1: “I don’t mean to intrude, but do you think you can speed up?”
Talker 2: “No offense, but asking someone to speed up when there’s clearly a line, is rude.”
Talker 1: “I’ll try to keep this short, but you really need to work on patience.”
Talker 2: “I’m sorry, but I had a really long day.”
Talker 1: “I get it, but don’t we all?”
A “but” demeans the worth of any prefacing civility.
Bosses gild themselves in 40th floor corner offices with glass-windows and million dollar views. Sometimes you have to go through multiple doors, elevators, nd dings to get to this office. A secretary saying they’re not available. Another sitting area to lull us into a false sense of importance. Coffee, tea, drinks, anything else we want to marinade in?
And when we finally get through, we feel so indebted, grateful, and guilt-tripped to even be in their holy presence, that we don’t dare say, “I need to take two weeks vacation this month.”
Never mind the fact that we may have fully deserved the two weeks off. Just as much as they may have deserved the penthouse, the corner office, and the vacation anytime capability.
In the US, not working signals wealth status. And yet, social mobility means the ability to escape poverty. So now, busy-ness begins to trump leisure as a status symbol. We see this in the choices that we make. In the devices and brands we buy to help our busy lifestyle.
It is no wonder, then, that when we have to actively ask permission to “un-busy” our life—it feels like we’re saying we do not want wealth. Even if we do really want it.
Taking enough vacation time in the US turns into a frowned pleasure.
As a result, the only way people can take two or more weeks of vacation is:
Right before they start a new job
If they’ve worked enough number of years that they’ve built up vacation time
If they have unlimited paid time-off. Or,
So how do you visit your family and friends near, and especially far, if you only have 2 weeks?
Some time ago, I contributed to an article by Nicole Spector’s Yahoo Finance that covers this topic. It was specifically talking about women in the workplace. But none of the insights we covered were just for women. It applies to everyone.
Specifically, we talked about:
—
Overcoming lack of fair pay,
Negotiating a higher starting salary,
Setting up a promotion plan out the gate,
Overcoming the Burden of Providing Child Care, and
Why 75% of job opportunities are hidden and unlisted
—
Take a read here if you’re curious.
I’ll also be talking about this topic more deeply in the next several weeks. To get updates on:
This is such an important discourse about the way American businesses treat vacation time and how we are conditoned to think about our legitimate need for time off. I love this:
"Progressive spirit is definitely what drives the American sense of self. But at the same time, it creates a sense that nothing is ever enough. To the point that taking a vacation leads to the perception and worry that we’re replaceable."
When I lived in Sweden, I got to experience a totally different approach to having time off. It is a lot more human(e). Every employee, no matter your seniority, enjoys 5 weeks' summer vacation, on top of your annual vacation. Nobody is expected to work during the summer. Most businesses are closed, even bodegas down the street. So rest and recreation is built into the system. Maternity and paternity leaves are also built in. The parents get paid 80% of their salaries while on an 18-month leave, and the business owners usually hire a temp to do their work.
Women in the U.S., who take up the majority of caregiving work, are getting the short end of the stick. A lot of times, caregiving eats into the already short 2-week vacation time, leaving little room for our own recovery. This can lead to burnout very easily. There is so much room for improvement, but I think it is very difficult to change the work culture due to the inhere American culture and sense of self.